Pointing out that tiki-type drinks have the potential to be more dangerous than other kinds of drinks doesn’t really add anything new to the world’s collective knowledge, but I can’t help but restate it: Anything served with an umbrella in it; set aflame; or included on a cocktail list near the words “virgin,” “suffering” and “navy” should be sipped with caution and with the phone number of a taxi company near by. The mai tai is the most respectable of the bunch but you still need to watch out for the rum.

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